December 14, 1909
Dear Diary,
Today was a day of both happiness and grief. The day is 14th of December again. My fourteenth birthday and the fiftieth anniversary of my great grandfather Prince Albert, the Prince Consort’s death. Every December 14th, I feel a mix of opposite emotions since it is my birthday, but at the same time the death anniversary of a beloved. Everyone in the palace tries to behave as if they were happy for me, but the sadness and solemnity can be read from their faces. Although that makes me feel down and sometimes even disappointed sometimes, I understand them. I respect their act of mourning, because I also respect my great grandfather, but I still wish that I could spend my birthdays in a way that I would feel more special.
Although today was my birthday, I thought that my parents and grandparents would be more tolerant with my stammer, but they kept trying to correct me again. They may be trying to help me get rid of my stammer, but the way they’re doing it isn’t helping me at all. Even today, they raised their voices towards me and forced me to talk properly, and eventually I cried, again. I can’t help it. Under that pressure and that much expectation, I don’t think I will be able to fix my speaking.
Today was a day of both happiness and grief. The day is 14th of December again. My fourteenth birthday and the fiftieth anniversary of my great grandfather Prince Albert, the Prince Consort’s death. Every December 14th, I feel a mix of opposite emotions since it is my birthday, but at the same time the death anniversary of a beloved. Everyone in the palace tries to behave as if they were happy for me, but the sadness and solemnity can be read from their faces. Although that makes me feel down and sometimes even disappointed sometimes, I understand them. I respect their act of mourning, because I also respect my great grandfather, but I still wish that I could spend my birthdays in a way that I would feel more special.
Although today was my birthday, I thought that my parents and grandparents would be more tolerant with my stammer, but they kept trying to correct me again. They may be trying to help me get rid of my stammer, but the way they’re doing it isn’t helping me at all. Even today, they raised their voices towards me and forced me to talk properly, and eventually I cried, again. I can’t help it. Under that pressure and that much expectation, I don’t think I will be able to fix my speaking.